Saturday, March 13, 2010

You Can't Always Get What You Want

UPDATE: I did receive a sincere apology message, which I wholeheartedly accept.  Communication is key, kids!  Thank you for all of your support. 

I've written many times about Swapbot, which I love so much - getting a new package from a mysterious stranger filled with goodies brings me so much joy, and sending one to someone else hoping to provide that same feeling thrills me as well. 

Which was why I was so upset yesterday to receive a few passive agressive emails from a swapper who had received two fabrics from me, one of which she didn't like.  I had sent two fat quarters, neatly tied up with some cute ribbon that I thought she'd enjoy - it was a request swap, so one fit her criteria and the other I thought she would like as well.  I'm not saying they were my favorite fabrics ever, but I had used the rest of the yard in other projects myself that were well received as gifts to friends. 

I understand everyone has different tastes, and I have never done a request swap before so I didn't realize how strict someone could be.  I have gotten packages with items that weren't necessarily something I would pick for myself, but I've always rated my parters well when I've received a package that has fulfilled the swap.  I think of each swap as a gift that should be received graciously, not met with complaints or rude questions like "Just curious, did you read my profile?" or lists of who appropriate "modern" designers might be.  Based on the list I received, ANY person who designed a new fabric today would be a modern designer, as long as it wasn't a reissue or vintage print.  So something with Disney characters, or toile in lime green would be modern  - which I don't agree with.

I did also offer to send something else - I was conflicted because I didn't want to be a pushover to such a domineering person, but I did want to make things right, and maintain my impeccable swapbot rating history.  This partner said not to, but still continued with condescending emails.  Why bother?  Don't you have better things to do?

I won't let this defeat me - all of my other partners have been awesome, so I won't stop because of one bad egg.  I might cut back a bit for the time being, though, to focus on making things for my shop, and for friends and family who will appreciate my hard work and time. 

So, I guess I just had to vent, and see what other readers/swappers might think - have you ever had an unhappy swap?

PS: The offending print was blue, with stars on it.  Nothing that you would think would be met with such objections!


  1. I'm sorry you had a bad experience. It sounds like the swapper knew what he/she wanted before receiving anything and then held it against you that he/she received something different. That's not what swapping is about. It's not your problem, but I can understand why you're upset/disappointed.

  2. I had an experience also like that. I mistakenly sealed and mailed an envie with swap in it (partial item) and when she got it she wrote a note that wasn't nice, but at least gave me a 5 but blocked my message when I wanted to make it up to her. This is a fun swap group I thought. Some take it so seriously.

  3. Thanks Ladies - I'm glad to have the support of other swappers! I'll keep at it!

  4. Actually I think the blue fabric is beautiful. Thats the fun part of the swap - the surprise! Even if it is something you wouldn't have chosen yourself - someone was nice enough to pick it out and send.

    Still love my bunny :)

  5. I had someone scold me for misspelling their name- Fair enough and I apologized profusely, but then 2 weeks later she wrote me to say she never received the item. I had to remind her "remember you berated me for misspelling your name?" That pretty much killed it for me.

  6. Its normal to receive things you dont like. You can read a profile but your not a psychic. When ever I receive something I dont like I just pass it on to somebody Who I think will love that item. This means that I wont be giving hearts but will just rate them a fair 5. I dont understand why people can make so much fuss about something that you receive as a gift. Would do also do that with their family for their birthday gifts?